Dieticians and Trainers - Checking My Body Privilege and a Story More Common Than I Thought
This is the topic that has been very near to my heart lately. I want to start with how I stumbled upon this.
I wanted to be "healthier". So I was looking for someone to tell me what to eat, how to eat, and why to eat like that to get to the body that I wanted. I still have the Spider Gwen wallpaper on my phone, because the idea was that I wanted to look like a comic book character and wear her skin-tight suit with confidence. I should probably change that because although I do have a love for the character within the world she exist in, I don't quite think or feel that way any more. I was learning from fitspo people on youtube and wellness personalities and people who broke achieving this down to a simplified math equation.
I knew it was the internet and to take it with a grain of salt. If they talked about a study, even if they didn't provide the information needed to look into how legitimate the study was, I was more eager to bite. If they had a lot of followers commenting positive things, I was more eager to bite. When a lot of other "gurus" with results showing in their bodies had the same answers, I was more eager to bite. But my relationship with what I now know as diet culture, was always swing and a miss. I felt that even when I truly tried my best, it wasn't worth it to keep consistent and it honestly didn't show results in a way that satisfied me for the short time frame I was on board.
I was at a certain point where I had a ton of information, rarely if ever proven, and no clear answers. So I jumped into the "wellness" side to see what they had to say about eating. What really sparked my interest was when I was hearing from the people who study the studies and have a stamp of authenticity from an educational institution. Registered dieticians. The first that I attempted to follow was praising a lifestyle that they claimed was easy enough but would take some work to show results. Tried the most basic of their suggestions and the only ones I enjoyed were when I was consciously consuming liquids I enjoyed more often in mornings and meditation. Nothing that was horribly new to me but helped encourage. The meal plans terrified me but I tried a few and was not happy. I felt like a rabbit for lack of a better explanation. I was supposed to hold off on all the things my body was craving and if I did crave something just to have a little. Well now that I've learned more about myself and basic human psychology, the second I think I can't have something I want it. Hence, the cycle of restriction and binging and hating myself for making a mistake and unsure how to learn from it. It took so much brain and emotional power, forget it. It took more energy then when I was in the habit of calorie counting every meal during a previous diet phase. No joke.
Seeking kinder and gentler solutions, I wanted to learn from other sources. I ran into a video posted by Caitlin Shoemaker; someone who posted regularly about wellness and always seemed very positive and aware when making their content. She suggested a podcast that gave me that gave me that feeling where it made so much sense all of a sudden. I'm not still no expert and I could be totally wrong but the podcast is Positive Nutrition by Paige Smathers who is a Registered Dietician Nutritionist. She talks about a wide variety of topics that just from the handful of episodes I have listened to, I think center around ideas of accepting what is truly healthy for yourself and other people, understanding other people's experiences with health, understand health and information about health through the context of our culture, pointing out that health can be vastly different things for every single person, and that health isn't perfect. She also talks about health at every size, intuitive eating, body privilege, and many other things I was vaguely aware of but never really knew how to talk about them or define them.
I went into it thinking it was going to be someone who could finally tell me what I need to eat and why. Nope. She kind of envelopes you into a space where ideas around food is discussed, but she hasn't once said in the episodes I've listened to so far why one food is better than another. She also talks about how Intuitive Eating has been co-opted by social media and the role social media plays in many people's understanding of nutrition. She interviews many people that have similar experiences to me and/or are professionals in their field who discuss what they commonly see in patients. She
gives me confidence in knowing that this journey will not be perfect and it's not meant to be. Changing my relationship with my body and my food in a way that helps lead me to my internal understanding that now seems not only something I can improve but I can learn a deeper understanding.
I am continuing to learn more about my relationship to movement as well which I am really excited about. I have now started listening to Jessi Haggerty who has a podcast called the Body Love Project which I am excited to dive into. She was a guest on Paige Smather’s podcast and I am excited to learn more about this ideology and its relationship to movement.
The Nutrition Matters podcast can be found on iTunes, Stitcher, other podcast listening apps and websites including the page on her own: https://www.positive-nutrition.com/podcast.
I wanted to be "healthier". So I was looking for someone to tell me what to eat, how to eat, and why to eat like that to get to the body that I wanted. I still have the Spider Gwen wallpaper on my phone, because the idea was that I wanted to look like a comic book character and wear her skin-tight suit with confidence. I should probably change that because although I do have a love for the character within the world she exist in, I don't quite think or feel that way any more. I was learning from fitspo people on youtube and wellness personalities and people who broke achieving this down to a simplified math equation.
I knew it was the internet and to take it with a grain of salt. If they talked about a study, even if they didn't provide the information needed to look into how legitimate the study was, I was more eager to bite. If they had a lot of followers commenting positive things, I was more eager to bite. When a lot of other "gurus" with results showing in their bodies had the same answers, I was more eager to bite. But my relationship with what I now know as diet culture, was always swing and a miss. I felt that even when I truly tried my best, it wasn't worth it to keep consistent and it honestly didn't show results in a way that satisfied me for the short time frame I was on board.
I was at a certain point where I had a ton of information, rarely if ever proven, and no clear answers. So I jumped into the "wellness" side to see what they had to say about eating. What really sparked my interest was when I was hearing from the people who study the studies and have a stamp of authenticity from an educational institution. Registered dieticians. The first that I attempted to follow was praising a lifestyle that they claimed was easy enough but would take some work to show results. Tried the most basic of their suggestions and the only ones I enjoyed were when I was consciously consuming liquids I enjoyed more often in mornings and meditation. Nothing that was horribly new to me but helped encourage. The meal plans terrified me but I tried a few and was not happy. I felt like a rabbit for lack of a better explanation. I was supposed to hold off on all the things my body was craving and if I did crave something just to have a little. Well now that I've learned more about myself and basic human psychology, the second I think I can't have something I want it. Hence, the cycle of restriction and binging and hating myself for making a mistake and unsure how to learn from it. It took so much brain and emotional power, forget it. It took more energy then when I was in the habit of calorie counting every meal during a previous diet phase. No joke.
Seeking kinder and gentler solutions, I wanted to learn from other sources. I ran into a video posted by Caitlin Shoemaker; someone who posted regularly about wellness and always seemed very positive and aware when making their content. She suggested a podcast that gave me that gave me that feeling where it made so much sense all of a sudden. I'm not still no expert and I could be totally wrong but the podcast is Positive Nutrition by Paige Smathers who is a Registered Dietician Nutritionist. She talks about a wide variety of topics that just from the handful of episodes I have listened to, I think center around ideas of accepting what is truly healthy for yourself and other people, understanding other people's experiences with health, understand health and information about health through the context of our culture, pointing out that health can be vastly different things for every single person, and that health isn't perfect. She also talks about health at every size, intuitive eating, body privilege, and many other things I was vaguely aware of but never really knew how to talk about them or define them.
I went into it thinking it was going to be someone who could finally tell me what I need to eat and why. Nope. She kind of envelopes you into a space where ideas around food is discussed, but she hasn't once said in the episodes I've listened to so far why one food is better than another. She also talks about how Intuitive Eating has been co-opted by social media and the role social media plays in many people's understanding of nutrition. She interviews many people that have similar experiences to me and/or are professionals in their field who discuss what they commonly see in patients. She
gives me confidence in knowing that this journey will not be perfect and it's not meant to be. Changing my relationship with my body and my food in a way that helps lead me to my internal understanding that now seems not only something I can improve but I can learn a deeper understanding.
I am continuing to learn more about my relationship to movement as well which I am really excited about. I have now started listening to Jessi Haggerty who has a podcast called the Body Love Project which I am excited to dive into. She was a guest on Paige Smather’s podcast and I am excited to learn more about this ideology and its relationship to movement.
The Nutrition Matters podcast can be found on iTunes, Stitcher, other podcast listening apps and websites including the page on her own: https://www.positive-nutrition.com/podcast.
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